When we enter into any sort of relationship – romantic or otherwise – we, ourselves, are largely accountable for the dynamic of that union. If we bring negativity into it, we can’t be surprised when it is an overall negative relationship. Alternatively, if we bring out best selves into it, a positive relationship can be expected.
It’s not too baffling when you think about it objectively. Very rarely do we choose to surround ourselves with negative people. It doesn’t make us enjoy our time, and often it can rub off and eventually make us think negatively about ourselves too. Who we choose to surround ourselves with ultimately has a larger than we realize impact on our health.
We aim to bring our best selves into our relationships in order to make them healthy and satisfying. Unfortunately, this is sometimes more difficult than just that desire. We could be at a difficult time in our life, we could have stress beating down our doors, it could be any number of things. It’s complicated because no matter how hard we try, these things often creep into our relationships creating havoc before we even have the chance to realize that it’s happening.
So how do we combat this negativity and ensure that we are always bringing our best selves into our relationships? Here are a few ways:
If you aren’t at a place in your life where you are happy with yourself, then figuring out how to be happy with yourself should be your first priority. No one can make you love yourself and it is no one’s responsibility to try. Entering into a relationship under the pretense that if someone else could love you, you could learn to love yourself too is both unrealistic and unfair to anyone else involved. Respect those around you by first learning to love yourself – and this shouldn’t be too difficult as there is already so much about you to love!
Know what you want
Knowing what you want out of this relationship is crucial. If it’s a business relationship, there is likely already a clear objective laid out before you. If it is a romantic relationship, knowing what you want out of both a partner and the relationship as a whole is important. When you and the other individual involved are able to get on the same page, the relationship is able to progress and all parties are able to enjoy it on a deeper level. If you don’t know what you want, search within yourself and discuss with others what possibilities are out there.
Leave your past
It’s easy to just say “the past is in the past,” but before you enter into a relationship, you need to actually leave it behind. Yes, our pasts affect us greatly as they mold us into who we are in the present. But it’s important to remember that we are NOT our pasts currently. Just as our childhoods have affected who we are as adults, our past relationships will affect our current ones. Don’t hold your past up as a point of comparison as it will never solve any problems and it will only prove to complicate things further. If the past is still an obstacle in your life, take the appropriate measures to resolve any of those issues before going any farther.
How do you ensure that you are always bringing your best self into your relationships?